MJ’s 1st entry

Welcome to my meanderings

This is about Leftovers… Recently, there have been so many thoughts I want to lasso (before I forget them) and throw them out there for you.

Here’s the deal…. if you decide to read any of this, do so with an open heart and mind…..remembering I went to school on a social scholarship and it wasn’t till later that I realized I should have learned something! People are my heart battery charge. If you look for correct punctuation or correct anything……LOTS OF LUCK!

MINDFULL: is it a word to say, think or live ? …… all, really, and it isn’t till we have the luxury of decades or time to see that we often have the “same things” like in a kalideioscope , that we just need to turn the bottom of it to view it differently…. maybe it is just maturation. I LIVE GRATEFUL!!! From the minute I have the gift of waking up as a guest in this word, to a “Kneeling ”prayer of thanks for what I have and what I have been given. For me, Paul, us, 33 of my best adult years together …. We had such a together, and that was such a gift and I believe it was a rarity in life. So, when I am sad, I just remind myself with sweet and funny memories. I always believed we were mindful, but since his heart attack and dying….. mindful has taken on a very sharp edge. Life is not to be squandered but to be lived as precious; as the gift it is. If you don’t….. well you loose. I know I would give anything….ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING to have a moment more with my love and hero…. because of how he lived and made me his cherished Bride , every single day…. even if I was awnry (don’t check for spelling either…..). What I have gleaned for me is this starter kit I recommend and it is not something you have to order or fills promises, to just become an expert at being mindful of you ,first, so when you share with others you are giving them your best…. Get a pair of earmuffs (are they even a thing anymore?) and a mirror…. Look, gaze and don’t break the stare….. Who you see when you are alone with yourself is what you have to work with. Be kind; you are not what you have ever heard. YOU are a blank piece of paper doing a draft of what the true you wants to become. I learned long ago that I would never be a 6 foot tall different race, person……so a little realism is called for. So looking is LOOKING. you are a gift in this world. alone. you are a gift, and you are brightly wrapped and you get to decide what is going to be inside. My Goodness…it is an adventure that no one dictates but you. What you have , is the you from the skin on in…not what you buy for the outside. Before we are able to get a foothold in that idea, we are inundated with magazines, photography of “perfect” and that is all a veneer to cover up real wood. so, let’s say you live to be a pretend adult (20’s) a practicing one (30’s) and in my opinion, Humble …lol, you just start opening the door at 40’s and have been handed a blank sheet to draw you. Now, I am not saying I am old, but I did do the math and it appears I am…Shoe still doesn’t fit, but going along with honesty, I have decided to be a club of one, (since I am the only member) and call myself VINTAGE HONEYBADGER…cuz HONEY BADGER don’t care! You know how it is said about a tree that sheds the leaves that no longer serve……well, I have a beautiful tree with select leaves…. I leave the budding of hope for spring and have earned a semblance of peace in becoming friends with dying and winter.

If you have gotten this far, another thing to mention is that I MEAN to make sense and recommend that your tools reading any of “me” is your imagination. One of my best life friends Kat Danzer said when we first met that I was like a bouquet of balloons, but if she listened long enough, eventually I tied them together! That friendship is warming up to around 50 years. Reminds me of the song with the line that goes “make new friends, but keep the old ones….some are silver an the other gold>”

HD….will refer to head-drops.. things that fall into my head randomly…. ie….right now it happens to be…. when you point a finger at others; there are 4 pointing back at you!

Let’s let a wave of kindness, my goodness, JUST FOR KINDNESS SAKE….. wash over all of us and treat people the way we want to be treated… for no reason. What would that look like? weeding out greed and human nature and walking on backs to climb up. Hhhmmmmmmmm

Sit quiet with yourself and thoughts….wonders unfold.

Sometimes I love that “NO” is a complete sentence and often, when an old tendency of being crops up….. the joy I feel in telling myself so what!…… that can also come in handy with other peoples Jerry Springer dramas….. SO WHAT!

Happiness is the cake; contentment is the frosting!

Learning and living that today IS the extraordinary day and tomorrow is an unwrapped gift. At days end, it turns into yesterday, and there are no rewinds.

Human spirit vs human nature.

People pleasing is far different than people “caring”……. people are my passion; I endeavor to be my most authentic and do my best, but feel, after that, that if someone has to feel bad, it might as well be you! Agree to disagree! We are a potluck of people and we all bring something better to the table if we are not faking what we bring. potato salad is different from burgers, go nicely together…. Diversity needs celebration. We are whole… let’s take time to get to know each other and drop labels! Get your color boxes out; the big boxes with the gazillion colors and color one page in your coloring book and the other page with a box of 8 colors. and color another page…. you know which one was more fun! CHOICES!!!!!

ENJOY YOURS AND KNOW you don’t have the right to step on someone else’s. Be aware of the life in front of you this minute…. You can love “to the moon” and back and you can also start small…to the grocery store and all those you encounter , and back.

THERE ARE NOOOOOOO REWINDS !

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8/23/23

Today was such a lucky day for the privilege of having people open up and share their lives ! Just the graciousness of allowing me in. What an overwhelming gift!!! So many times people just “talk” and it’s more like filler instead of coming from their heart. Both Bobbie and Ted ARE HIGHLIGHTED TODAY. Bobbie’s daughter is now in the 7th grade and she has been coming in since before she was born, Ted, is such a grand fellow and I will never forget how he just pulled into the parking lot several years ago, just to say hello and how were we. Paul and I always felt the blessing of wonderful folks that found their way to our door and then kept them open.! a beautiful bouquet of wild flower hearts! God’s gift of people that weave into the fabric of our lives.

My conversation withTed, whose Mother just passed and she was months shy of 100. ……. and in his sharing we talked about living BEYOND making moments count, but living your own life so worthwhile, that at days end, you can feel the you have already had a great life; and it becomes less important, how many years you get! THERE isn’t a day at the restaurant, that there isn’t joy, for the people that come in and I feel so touched with the sharing! It feels like I am in my playground instead of “work”.

I shared with my daughter Ash, (who is getting more ensconced in being older), that sometimes we have to get to a certain perch of a limb of our life tree to start seeing the bigger picture of life and learn to cultivate ourselves so we have LIVED GOOD LIVES, no matter the years we get and find our best friend is the one we see in the mirror, When we do that, we give our best to others as well.

It’s great to design our environments with things that reflect us, and should be our home base and safe place to fall and yet I have fallen more into the fact that we are “visitors” and just walking through '“stuff” and it sure has been putting a different spin on my outlook. My friend Betty Jo shared a comment her husband Wes always said. “don’t love something that doesn’t love you back.!” The superb enlightenment we get to have in life’s journey that is denied at a young age….kinda like ya hafta earn it! :)

I know I miss my sweet Paul 24/7, but I am here with our 2 furry , soulfully brown eyed puppy/people and I am going to rejoice in the joy of family and friends and each days adventure!

Be brave enough to love yourself and put on the big boy or big girl pants ; sit quiet with yourself and if necessary, sand off the rust and get started on a clean white page in this new day in your life!

8/29/23

CONTENTMENT…What a glorious word, that encompasses a “feeling”, like none other. Today, taking Penny and Peanut for a walk, I felt a myriad of things …the warmth from the sun; the simple joy being in the world today and along my path I was audience to a jungle of spectacular jumbo zinnias that took up 2/3 ads of these people’s yard…all these warm colors and reaching for the sun, and I thought, WOW, this is it; just standing there and mentally inhaling all the beauty I was seeing, for the price of a walk! Then I thought, how I had come to know that I could just enjoy them in their habitat and not need to wish I could cut them for a vase. Just seeing them in that setting was a mental snapshot to cherish!

Sometimes I write and it just continues from my head, like you already have the first part, so bare with me or “imagine” what I mean!~.

You can marvel at things, but when you really stop and realize you have always looked at them, but didn’t take the time to see them. The moments, I am learning, without Paul here, are moments that command might, so my heart might feel again. I continue to flip the switch when I am sad and missing him with all of my heart, to……How lucky was I to live a love life with him! Now, for me, it will be in blankets of rememberanceand new doors to open till we meet again.

AT work, beyond the joy of sharing time with Robs, …each day is an adventure with an unknown cast of characters coming in to get dinner and desserts to take home, It is an absolute joy to continue our business with the heart it was created with. Reminds me , I often told people that Paul and I were a MOM and POP shop with frosting ! Over the years many different places opened and closed and when asked our secret about what set us apart and I said 2 things…: treat others the way you want to be treated and do not quit!

Keep in mind that the lens tha I look through leans more into “aren’t we lucky”?!!!! Pure kindness of heart with others and to realize fully, that often times….. Less is MORE!